Home is Where the Heart is

Ben and Nissy Tee interview each other in their home for this special Valentine’s shoot, with their baby boy King.

Nissy: Hey babe. 

Ben: Yo.

Nissy: I've got some questions for you today. Okay, okay. 

Ben: Wait, write it down honestly.

Nissy: What do you mean? Don't say anything crazy, okay? You're such a troll. Okay, the truth, the truth is fine. We can do the truth. Okay, are you ready? First question. What was your first impression of me? 

Ben: Well, I'd say there's two first impressions I had. Okay. There was one where I was still in a relationship.

Nissy: Oh, yeah. 

Ben: I can see this girl likes me and she's quite confident. 

Nissy: Okay.

Ben: But I had to tell you that my girlfriend at the time was also Congolese, just so you could step back a little bit. Back up a little bit. Yeah, but you came properly. So I'd actually recommended you to a few of my people back home. I did, to be honest.

Nissy: Are you trying to flog me off to your friends? 

Ben: No, I was just saying, you know, it's a compliment. And then the second time we met as single people, I was like, yeah, this girl is amazing.

Very smart, pretty, beautiful, very intelligent, and you as a go-getter. And I was like, this is my spec. I didn't want a housewife.I wanted a businesswoman. 

Nissy: And I always said I never wanted to be a housewife. 

Ben: And that's where we worked. That's not my vibe. Remember, I asked you what you wanted. You sent me bullet points. I sent you mine. One date, done.

Nissy: Amazing.

Ben: Yes, ma'am. And what about yourself? 

Nissy: I would say that my first impression of you, yeah, I definitely fancied you. Let me not even lie. I absolutely fancied you. I thought you were handsome. You were tall.Obviously, you still are tall.I just really liked your vibe. Like, you were confident. You were very well-spoken.And I didn't see that in a lot of people that were our age because we were like, what, early 20s, right? 

Ben: Yeah. 

Nissy: And I didn't see a lot of guys that just dressed like you. Like, I remember, I always say, I remember the suit you were wearing. And it's like, you were wearing the suit. The suit wasn't wearing you.

It was a navy blue suit with red stitching. That's how bad I remember the first day we met. But yeah, I just loved your vibe. You were really confident, loving, kind, and very articulate and well-spoken. 

Ben: Thank you. 

Nissy: So yeah. Amazing. Love. Love, bro (they giggle and fist bump). So, babe, question. How would you say that I have changed since becoming, first becoming a wife and then becoming a mother? 

Ben: You were always thinking about what kind of future we're going to have, we’re both go-getters, you know. I was excited to get married, which was amazing. And then we got married. Our first month married was not enjoyable because you thought I wanted three square meals. You wanted everything planned. You wanted everything prim and proper.

When I was happy to eat bread and baguette, bread and baguette, or bread and egg, sorry. I was happy with bread and eggs, no issues. I was happy to cook. I take it in turns. I was happy to clean, but you know, I have to, this, oh, if someone's coming, I need it. I was like, whoa.And I was like, no

Nissy: It was very uptight. 

Ben: Nothing was being done that was spontaneous. There was no fun. It was just too prim and proper. And then came the Nissy who listened, and understood what Ben wanted. And I call it the Nissy who listens to understand and does not listen to reply. That's the Nissy I would say. That was the second Nissy. Was that the third? The third Nissy.

And the Nissy, the mum, of course you transition, we've transitioned into, look, we know what we want, right? It's children. We have fun. We take the mick out of each other. We keep a light hearted and we spend so much time together as it should be, you know, for me, that eliminates trouble. Nissy, the mum is so, um, you transitioned again because you used to be, you used to be worried about being a mother. So how you stepped into it, so, um, so is the word graciously amazing, you know? You've accepted help, which used to be a problem of yours, accepted a lot of help. And I've seen another level of love being unlocked. I can see how much King means to you. Um, and also it's been able, it's allowed me to see just how strong you are as a woman.

Nissy: Why am I getting emotional? No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that (she pats the tears on her face).

Nissy: Oh, I just love you guys. Oh my gosh. Why am I getting emotional? I was fine.

Ben:  Nissy, why? 

Nissy: I love you guys so much. 

Ben: Oh, we love you too (they hug) How do you think I've changed? First as, I guess, a boyfriend. Than your husband. Yeah. And then as a father.

Nissy: One thing that I would say, and yeah, I don't want to get emotional again, but I would say that you have been, would definitely say you've been super consistent throughout the entirety of our relationship. So I wouldn't really say that you've changed. I would just say that your level of love, affection and leadership has increased.

So I don't think you've changed. I just think you, when you were obviously boyfriend into becoming a husband, you took that role very seriously. And your thing was, this is my wife.

I'm protecting her and protecting our household. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't, it doesn't happen. That's it. Period. But that was also you as my boyfriend. 

Your love, your care and your leadership has always been there.Then when you became a dad, Oh my goodness, different levels of just love and affection and care and watching you being King's dad is like, I said it on Instagram. I didn't think I could fall in love with you more, but I have like, now love has swallowed me. It has swallowed me. Like, I just, I love you guys. And that's why I'm so emotional. Cause I just.

Ben: You know, I'm cheesing hard.

Nissy: Why?

Ben: Because I could cry

Nissy:  Oh God. My makeup is too cute. My makeup is really nice (they laugh).

Ben: I'm just laughing. I'm choosing to laugh.

Nissy:  I just love you guys. But yeah, you're amazing. I'm so blessed to have you. So, so blessed to have you. Literally, especially going into motherhood. Like one thing I was discussing actually the other day, a lot of people talk about having postpartum depression and I never had that. And I thank God because I couldn't have been in the pit of that.

Ben: I didn't give you an option because I believe at times, obviously you're used to a boss, babe, I'm doing business. I'm doing this. There, there were, there were points where I could see potential openings. I didn't give you the option, but that's because like, I'm in your business. You know me, I'm in your business. So I can smell it, it sounds so weird, but I can smell you.

I know how you're feeling. I can just, I can look at you for a second and I know what kind of Nissy I'm getting. Do you understand? 

Nissy: I could have easily fallen into that, but you just made sure like, you carried me.

Ben:There was no choice. There was no choice. That was not, sorry. Yeah. There was no choice and it wasn't an option.

Nissy:Yeah.

Ben: I think we're living in a generation where people think life just happens. No, you make things happen. You have to make things happen. Yeah. You see? So I thank God. I thank God because these are some core principles that I said that I would, I would stick to.

And again, it's not me being big headed. I'm aware of God's grace and his, you know, the favor he's, he's, you know, he's given me, you know, and us. But I thank God because I know, I know what I said and I know what I've stuck to. You know, whether it be from your dad. And that's why I'd say me and your dad get on so well, because I told your dad this. I told your dad what's happening now. I said to your dad way back. Way back. It's true.

Nissy: Way back. That's why they don't call me anymore. 

Ben: Yeah.

Nissy:. I love you. 

Ben: I love you more.

Nissy:  So obviously today's theme is home is where the heart is. What would you say that means to you? 

Ben: Do you know what I'd say? I'd say with me, across my life, I'd always say that, apart from God, I'd always say that I felt like I'd always have to have my own back. Right? My own back.

I'm someone who I have always been available for. Yeah. I would not say people have necessarily been available all the time for me. However, meeting you has redefined everything for me. So for me, home is wherever me and Nissy are. Let's just start there.

Wherever me and Nissy are, that's home. That's my comfort place. That's where I can be vulnerable. That's when I can truly be who Ben is. 

Nissy: The real Ben. 

Ben: The real Ben, you see. So that's what I would say. So wherever we are. So that's why for me, again, you see it more now, but you see where everything I do, I want to do it with you.

And that's because as a man, there's so many distractions. Anyways, that's another topic. But that's one of them. But also because with you, I'm comfortable. With you, I know someone's got my back. 

Nissy: Absolutely.

Ben: 100%. And even if I slip up, you'll get me out of the situation. And then back home, we deal with it and we sort it out. And again, home is with you. You're my heart. So yeah, you put the two together.

Nissy:I love that. 

Ben: Does that even answer it?

Nissy: Yeah, it does. It does.

Ben: And what about you? Home is where the heart is. Tell me. Don't copy me.

Nissy: No, but it's the same because I said that. I said it first. It's wherever we are.

Honestly, we've built our own little family. And now, obviously, we have King as well. So we've built our own space, our own family, and our own way of doing things. Like we do us. We do us no matter what. And we have family and banter. And it's been, what, nearly a decade already now. And we're still us, which I love. And I pray that that will always be it.

That for the next 50, 60, 70, by the grace of God, it gives us as many years as possible together. It will always just be however we decide to do it. So home is where the heart is for me. It means wherever we are and wherever we create our own vibe, our own space, and our own home. That's what I would say. 

Ben: Good to hear, man. I love you, bro. 

Nissy:  But just thinking back to everything. Honestly, it's been a journey. 

Ben: Always had your back.

Nissy: Always. Always had my back heavy. Always.

Watch the video on YouTube here