Self-Love: A Must for Every Christian Woman

by Jocelyn

So February, the month of l’amour, was last month. And who doesn't love love? We definitely do! It’s so easy to only think about eros - romantic love, when we think about this topic, but in this article we will explore self love.In our grandparents era, self love was rarely, if ever, discussed. Now it’s a constant conversation in the culture and prioritising yourself, putting your own needs first and curating a lifestyle you love by treating yourself to wonderful possessions and experiences is considered something to strive for.

Given that Christianity is a religion synonymous with selflessness sacrifice and service (we are called to be content with what we have and be more ‘others’ focused) and as Christians we are supposed to examine the way we walk in all areas of our lives (we shouldn't look like the world), the question is, is self love a modern, worldly concept? Is it unnecessary, un-Christian and just an excuse for self indulgence? Or is it a worthy pursuit for people of faith?

To answer the question we need look no further than the good book. The second greatest commandment is ‘love your neighbour as yourself.’ And this appears nine times in The Bible.

Now, what happens a lot with verses of scripture is that people get fixated on one part and throw out the rest. But not a single word in The Bible is superfluous, so we must look at the verse in its entirety.

So we are commanded to love our neighbour, not suggested or requested to. The second part of the verse is as yourself. Please note we are still under commandment, which means self love is a must and it, indeed, comes first. Self love is biblical!

This is good news for the recovering Christian ascetic, the woman who denies herself anything good and prioritises everyone else's needs, whims and desires in the name of being a good meek Christian woman. And for the Christian woman for whom self care is a cover for self indulgence, who is much more in awe of herself than she is of the kingdom, it's time for some self reflection. As always, with matters of faith, it comes down to the heart. Where is your heart at? What is your motivation?

We are not called to deny ourselves every good thing - God does not do that (in fact no good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly), but neither are we supposed to esteem ourselves more than others or do things out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

As Christians, Christ is our example. We love God because He loved us first and following after Him, we should love ourselves because He does and He commands us to ( and to extend that to our neighbour). Also, as yielded vessels we are to live bigger lives for Him and this involves stewarding well everything He has given us.

Stewarding our minds well means guarding what goes into them and what we subject ourselves to. This looks like having boundaries and not catering to the needs and whims of every person you come into contact with, which is destructive to your mental health. While we are called to serve others sacrificially, we are not called to serve everybody. We must recognise where we are called and to whom. Everything and everyone is not your assignment. Remember, you owe no one anything but to love them. Now to the untrained eye this may look like unkindness or selfishness, but a thinly-spread, stressed out you is not the version God can work with.

Good stewardship over your body looks like eating well and exercising, which results in good reserves of energy and generally a nice physical shape. Again, to the untrained eye this may look like vanity or putting too much stock in one’s physical appearance, especially when coupled with dressing well. However, we are ambassadors for Christ, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing and it does not honour Him when we walk around looking broke, busted and disgusted.

So, institute great self care because you are God’s. Practise good stewardship because a vessel that is healthy spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically can do so much more for God than one that isn't. Love yourself well!