A Great Cloud of Witnesses: 3 Takeaways from ‘The Wives Conference’
By Tolu
In the middle of March, otherwise known as ‘Women’s History Month’ (quite serendipitous, if you ask me), on a sunny Saturday afternoon, I had the immense privilege of attending an event known as ‘The Wives Conference.’ It was organised by ‘After God’s Heart’, a wonderful initiative* and was laced with nothing but true intention and surrender. Anchored by the scripture Hebrews 12:1, the conference presented an opportunity for honest and candid conversations designed to equip women in their roles as wives, providing a clear resting place for women from various backgrounds and of different ages to truly OFFLOAD (the theme of the event) and find safety in the arms of her Heavenly Father through fellow sisters. As a young woman who has always desired marriage and is deeply committed to approaching this season of life the godly way, here are my 3 takeaways from ‘The Wives Conference’:
Life cannot be done in a silo
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1)
I love that this scripture establishes the importance of ‘witnesses’ as part of the process of shedding off weight. Every season of life one faces is heavily impacted by the quality of the community they have surrounding them, so how much more a season that is probably considered one of the most transformative as to many, who you get married to is the next most excellent decision you could ever make after giving your life to Christ. ‘The Wives Conference’ offered a unique opportunity for women to truly surrender their burdens, to release their expectations or personal definitions of being a ‘wife,’ and to have Christ redefine this. It was truly remarkable to see a room filled with women humbly opening themselves up to exhortation, being challenged, being held accountable, and ultimately finding solace through Christ-centred counsel.
The Word of God is the only ‘instruction manual’ you need
“So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word…” (Ephesians 5:26a)
Several studies have shown that women are naturally inquisitive, and so when met with the various novelties and challenges marriage and being a wife can present, an onslaught of questions might flood minds and influence actions. And so, what better place to seek answers or perhaps just encouragement than the Word of God. We were encouraged to trust in God’s power to transform us through His Word. We could see firsthand through an in-depth study of various scriptures shared throughout the event the power it holds to diagnose and surgically remove anything that ought not to be. It truly serves as a manual for all seasons of life. So, a wife can consider that her ‘strength is not in how much she can carry, but in how much she surrenders’ - to the will of God as revealed through His Word.
You don’t have to ‘lose yourself’
“We are so much more than the roles we play” - Ify Alexis Lee.
This, to me, was so deeply important, and I am glad it was shared. Oftentimes, when marriage is being discussed, it can feel like an erasure of self as you are melded into one; this potential loss is a common fear several women have in approaching the reality of what it means to get married. From the idea of changing your name to ‘leaving your Father’s house,’ the implications of marriage for a woman can appear quite daunting and feel like a death to one’s former self. Though there is so much more to be said in unpacking these notions, I appreciated the acknowledgment that ‘being an individual in marriage is so important’ and that ‘self-discovery doesn’t stop when you say ‘I do’’. The understanding of one’s identity in Christ isn’t radically erased as a result of marriage. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” I loved the insightful analysis shared, which highlighted that a wife makes up one of those strands, so her not pouring into herself can impact the strength of that strand. As such, we were encouraged to pour into;
Our bodies carefully consider what we eat/drink
Our souls by being mindful of the type of content we take in
Our spirits, through regular rhythms of prayer and bible study
Ultimately, we were encouraged to be our own friends and ‘let life sweet us’!
Events like this are so necessary. ‘The Wives Conference created an altar for wives and wives-to-be to come and lay burdens down—especially those that have lain dormant for far too long; to be pointed back to the Word and encouraged to fix our eyes on Jesus. If I had to describe the experience in three words, they would be REAL, RAW, and TRANSPARENT. What a blessing it is to see community and sisterhood prioritized.
After God’s Heart is an initiative stewarded by Sho Carter-Daniel and Mo Carter-Daniel. They are passionate about equipping marriages, establishing families, and building legacies after God’s heart. For further details on any upcoming events, follow them here: https://www.instagram.com/marriageaftergodsheart/#